repine \rih-PYNE\ verb
Meaning
1 : to feel or express dejection or discontent : complain
*2 : to long for something

My face burned. I hated being there, and wanted to be out of it. But there I sat, going through every motion, trapped into it, like a ball rolling down a hill. I repined for my freedom, but persisted, a conscious prisoner to my own belief that I must stay. Somehow that motion was what made it bearable, the continual changes, moment to moment, consistently creating fresh air within the hot, hostile environment I found myself in. Errors were made, corrected, forgotten. Fresh tasks always coming up, never letting up. I felt like I was struggling through a waterpipe, struggling on, desperately waiting the release of fresh air. To stop would mean to drown.